Title: If I Told You
Series: Straw Into Gold
Part: 7 of 9
Word Count: 922
Summary: It’s difficult, but he can admit when he is wrong.
If I told you that I lie sometimes
If I told you that I run away
If I told you who I was before
Would you follow me?
I’m ready to go where I’ve never been
Will you stay around and follow me?
He’s frantically searching his desk drawers for his hidden stash of vicodin when he hears his office door open. He looks up, hopeful that she changed her mind about going out with Foreman and Chase and wants to reconcile. When he sees Wilson instead of her, he says nothing and resumes his search.
“What are you looking for?”
“Vicodin,” he answers, continuing his search. He knows he has a bottle somewhere in this office. He used to have a bottle on his person at all times, but since he started dating Allison, his pain has been more bearable and there have even been days where he hasn’t taken any painkillers at all. But now she’s gone and he needs them.
He hears the familiar rattle of a pill bottle and looks up just in time to see Wilson toss something to him. He manages the catch and is surprised to find himself holding a fresh bottle of vics. He looks questioningly at his best friend.
“I knew you were due for a refill and hadn’t been to the pharmacy yet.”
“No problem.” Wilson sits down as House pops the top off the pill bottle and dry swallows three pills. “Now do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and Cameron.”
“I blame you.”
“Me?” Wilson actually manages to look innocent for once.
“Last night I told her about what you said yesterday. We got into a fight.”
“Because people at the hospital are talking about you?”
“And she knew and didn’t tell me. She didn’t think it was a big deal.”
He bites back his answer because those two words have more of an impact than he would have ever thought two words could. He realizes that he has no idea why he thought it was such a big deal that people in the hospital knew about them. He’s never cared what people thought of him before, what changed?
“Greg, are you okay?” Wilson looks concerned.
“No, but I will be,” he says, struggling to his feet and heading for the door. He glances back over his shoulder. “Thanks.”
He’s waiting in his car when the taxi finally stops in front of her building. He watches as Chase gets out, helps Allison out, and walks her to the door. She hugs him and presses a light kiss on his cheek as they laugh, apparently about something he’s said. Greg wills himself to remain in the car until Chase is gone, telling himself that going up there and punching him in the face would not be the way to win her back.
He remains in his car until she is safely in the building and Chase is back in the departing taxi. He waits a few moments and sees the light go on in her living room. That’s his signal and he gets out of his car and heads for the front door.
Several minutes later, he is knocking on her door. She opens it without looking through the peephole, saying “What do you want, Chase?”
“I’m not Chase,” he says simply.
He can tell that she is shocked to find him at her door, but she steps back to allow him entry. He says a silent prayer of thanks that she didn’t slam the door in his face. Once he’s inside, she shuts the door and walks to her kitchen. He stands just inside her living room, waiting.
When she re-enters the room a few moments later with a steaming mug in hand, she almost seems surprised that he’s still there. She studies him for a minute, but still doesn’t speak. Instead, she sits on her sofa, tucking her legs up underneath her and sipping carefully from her mug.
He sighs. He knew she wasn’t going to make it easy for him, but he expected her to at least speak. But she’s not and he knows he needs to say or do something and fast.
He sits in the chair that faces her sofa. He watches her until she meets his eyes and they sit, eyes locked, in silence for a long moment.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says in a voice he hardly recognizes.
She bites her lip as if to hold back words. He knows a mere apology isn’t enough.
“I shouldn’t have gotten so upset,” he continues. “I’m not even sure why I did. I’ve never cared what people thought of me before. And I still don’t. Except for one person. You. It killed me to watch you go out with Foreman and Chase tonight. I wanted you home with me, in my bed and in my arms.”
A few silent tears slide down her cheeks. He feels a gripping pain in his chest; it hurts him that she’s crying because of something he did.
“Allison, I love you. I don’t care who knows it. I was wrong. I was stupid. I can’t stop myself from remembering what Stacy did to me. I know you’re not her and I know you won’t do what she did, but it’s still hard for me.”
She nods slowly. “I told Chase and Foreman.”
He gives her a small smile. “I figured.”
She returns his smile. “I’m drunk.”
“Can we talk tomorrow? When I’ve had time to process everything and am sober?”
“We can talk whenever you want, Allison.”
She smiles again and he feels as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.