Veronica Mars - Now I Know

Title: Now I Know
Characters: Veronica/Logan
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Up to and including "Donut Run"
Author's Notes: As always, much love to storydivagirl for making my stuff readable. Consider this my atonement for the above. It's a sequel, by the way.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't sue. Don't own the song either - that belongs to the wonderful Anthony Rapp.

I woke up to see your face again, I woke up to see
You had spent the night again with me
I never thought we'd be like this again, never thought we'd be
Then you came back to me

Veronica woke up and stretched her arms over her head as she yawned. She was momentarily confused when her arm hit something soft and warm. Something that was grumbling about her being more careful about where she put her arms because single beds weren’t really made for two.


In her bed.

She closed her eyes and recalled the events of the past week.


Her dad had come down on her hard for what she and Duncan had done, but he was more upset about the fact that they didn’t come to him for help rather than what they had done. He believed them about the Mannings and he certainly didn’t want to sentence a baby to a lifetime of abuse when she had a loving father to care for her.

He had worried about her after Duncan left. He knew that her previous moping had all been an act, but it concerned him that she seemed to be taking the actual separation far too calmly.

She couldn’t tell him the truth. She had known for a long time that she didn’t love Duncan. She only stayed with him because she had promised Meg that she wouldn’t let her parents raise the baby. That, and the fact that Logan apparently didn’t want her anymore.

Three days ago, Keith had gotten a lead on a bail jumper that would bring in a huge reward. He had hesitated, though, not wanting to leave Veronica alone, afraid that she’d finally break down and he wouldn’t be there to help her through it. She encouraged him to go, knowing that she had some things she needed to do and preferring that her father not be home when she did them.

The first thing she did after kissing her father goodbye was head to the Neptune Grand to get the few belongings of hers that were still there. She still had her key card and she was desperately hoping she didn’t run into Logan.

Which, of course, meant that he was there.

And now I know I should've never let you go
And now I know I've always loved you
And you are so much more than I deserve
I want you to know that now I know

She was prepared for snarky remarks about the way Duncan had betrayed her. She was prepared for snarky remarks about the fact that Duncan left her to raise his baby. She was prepared for pointed looks, eye rolling and general unpleasantness.

She was not prepared for sincere admiration for her sacrifice.

The genuine concern for her well being in his eyes and voice broke her. He held her while she cried, whispering comforting words and stroking her hair.

After she got it all out of her system, he offered to let her stay if she wanted company. She declined because she had to get home to Backup.

Twenty minutes after she arrived home, there was a knock on the door. She opened it to find Logan standing there. He didn’t say anything, simply pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

Veronica had never felt anything so right in her life.

After all this time you probably felt safer on your own
But I was never better off alone
You probably thought that I'd forgotten you, probably thought that I
Couldn't see you out of the corner of my eye

He slept on her couch that night, refusing to leave her alone in her emotional distress. She woke the next morning to the scent of coffee and bacon. They bantered good naturedly over breakfast and had a splashing fight while they did the dishes.

They spent the day on the couch, taking turns picking movies, instead of going to school. Their conversation ran the gamut from actors to bad dialogue to playful teasing about movie choices. Late afternoon, they ordered Chinese food. After dinner, they hopped in Logan’s X-Terra and took Backup for a long walk on the beach.

By the time they got back to Veronica’s apartment, they’d spent an entire day together without ever discussing the fact that they’d kissed the previous night. Logan walked her and Backup to the door, but hesitated when she invited him in.

At her confused look, he finally broke. He told her that losing her had been the worst thing to happen to him, even worse than losing Lilly. He told her that it had caused him physical pain to see her so happy with Duncan. She retorted that he hadn’t looked too pained when she and Duncan had caught him with Kendall. He insisted that she was a way to pass the time. She admitted that it had hurt her to see him moving on.

And now I know I should've never let you go
And now I know I've always loved you
And you are so much more than I deserve
I want you to know that now I know

They stayed up all night talking about everything that had happened between them. They bared their souls. There were tears and there was laughter and in the end, they both knew that they could put the past behind them and look to the future.

Veronica apologized for not trusting him. Logan apologized for his father almost killing her. She apologized for her father kicking him out of the apartment. He promised to stop taking unnecessary risks. She thanked him for saving her life when the Fitzpatricks grabbed her. He thanked her for standing by him when he was on trial for Felix’s murder.

They talked about Lilly and Duncan and the way things used to be. They talked about their plans for the future and how they wanted things to work out.

I thought that I knew what you wouldn't do
I thought that I knew everything and more

When the sun came up, Logan put on a pot of strong coffee while Veronica showered. She made some pancakes while he showered. After breakfast, they headed to school, where they struggled to stay awake and shared a lot of secret smiles. They weren’t hiding their relationship this time, but they weren’t ready to share it with the masses yet, either.

After school they stopped by the hotel so Logan could grab more clothes. They grabbed burgers on their way back to Veronica’s and cuddled on the couch while watching cheesy sitcoms. They were both so exhausted that they started falling asleep. Logan encouraged Veronica to go to bed.

She surprised them both by inviting her to join him.

Logan gave her a serious look. “I can’t replace him,” he said.

She tilted her head and smiled. “He couldn’t replace you.”